Pleasure, sensation, and sexuality

Pleasure is your birthright. Yet many people, especially women and people socialized as female, have been taught that pleasure is dangerous, selfish, or something to be earned through productivity or sacrifice. Queer women often reclaim sexual pleasure as a form of resistance and self-affirmation. Understanding your own sexuality involves exploration and paying attention to what feels good to you. This includes sexual pleasure but also non-sexual pleasure like good food, comfortable clothing, physical affection, creativity, or time in nature. These moments of joy and sensation are essential for wellbeing. Masturbation is a normal, healthy form of self-exploration and pleasure. It helps you understand your body, what sensations you enjoy, and what you might want to communicate to partners. You can also practice consent with yourself, checking in with what you want and stopping if you want to stop. If you have experienced sexual trauma, shame, or disconnection from your body, reconnecting with pleasure might take time and support. A trauma-informed sex therapist or therapist specializing in sexuality can help you explore pleasure in a safe way. Pleasure can be a part of healing, but it should always be on your own timeline and in your own control.