Recognizing control and emotional abuse

Emotional abuse includes patterns of behavior that make a partner feel bad about themselves, control their actions, or isolate them from support. This can include constant criticism, insulting, name-calling, or telling you that you are too sensitive or overreacting when you bring up concerns. It can include controlling who you spend time with, what you wear, or how you spend your money. It can include threats, including threats to harm themselves, hurt your pet, or take away your children. Emotional abuse can be harder to recognize than physical violence because there are no visible marks. You might internalize the criticism and start believing that you are the problem. Your partner might convince you that their behavior is your fault or that no one else would want to be with you. These are common tactics abusers use to maintain control. Recognizing patterns is important. Does your partner make you feel bad about yourself regularly? Do they isolate you from friends and family? Do you feel afraid of their anger or mood changes? Do they blame you for their abuse? Do they become angry if you talk about leaving or set boundaries? Do they move love and affection on and off as a way to control you? These are signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship. If you recognize these patterns in your own relationship, support is available. Some organizations specialize in LGBTQ relationship abuse because mainstream domestic violence services sometimes do not understand same-sex relationship dynamics. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, respected, and valued. Planning to leave an abusive relationship requires safety planning and support. Reach out to a trusted person or organization that specializes in relationship abuse.